I don't know if you were informed yet or not but in the alpha demo the part where you decide what to do for the festival booth gets an error/crash after Davis says "Isn't everyone going to be doing that?" or something along that line. That's the only one I've seen so far.
A demo for the game has been quite a while in the making. It still requires a lot of love but I am at the point where I'd really like to have feedback before I press further into both narrative and design. The main purpose in getting my game out in demo(albeit fairly alpha demo) form at present is to search for that feedback. I have left a substantial list of questions about the game and anyone willing to put the time into the game to aid in this process is greatly appreciated. I realize there is a while yet, but this feels like the first large step after a very long period of small steps.
I hope to continue working on narrative, editing, and some transitional aspects while I wait on feedback.
Thank you for any and all support to Fate Maker Games' first large project.
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Is this in the new demo build that just got posted (0.7)? I clicked through and saw no such error myself. If you still have the 0.4 build of the game, then the current update should fix this and several other bug issues.
My very first reaction to the demo, when i looked at the page, was a bit disappointment that the guys aren't that much of eyecandy. The description of the game and the main character beeing pretty convinced me to download and try it regardless^^
Then I was a bit sad that the elf turned out beeing the MCs brother and beeing off the table with that. Also the weird shadow on his neck annoyed me a bit, but i figured later that it has to be some kind of mark, maybe a short comment of Dere in her thoughtprocess about that could clear confusion^^
Further it felt a bit spiky to me that the inner thoughts and her point of view are titled as narrator. For me a marked out narrator in this kind of setting would refer to a third party uninvolved into the happenings that is telling the story. I was getting used to it pretty quickly and soon it didn't feel weird anymore.
I got hooked to the story right away. The world is interesting and i was beeing glad about all the informations i was given. With that wonder about the new world i had the right excitement for my first contact with the other dormmembers. The guys not beeing overly fancy pretty didn't matter anymore as i started to get to know the different characters and i guess for some people it is probably rather a plus instead of a minus, so a thing about personal taste.
I really enjoyed the dates on my first walkthrou, trying to be the good little sister and doing my best to play my exspected role while still beeing true to myself. I was very pleased to get along with everyone ( Soulles doesn't count!) while picking the choices that were closest to my own personality. I usually do my first playthrou like that and mostly it lets me end up all alone so that little success was certainly pleasing^^ I think everyone of them is charming in their own ways, even tho poor Davis and Alyth loosing a bit because of the missing sprites. It makes them appear a bit like sidecharacters at first. I am looking forward to Spacecowboy Davis, somehow i ended up picturing him like that in my head, it's probably the hat of the fill-in-sprite. And Soulless is... well, I have to agree with Anton there - she does make things more amusing at least. I liked to find out during the multiple playthrous that the characters have more to them than only what meets the eye or just one "secret" wich existence was obvious from beginning.
Javion was beeing my favourite right off the bat. I really like the steampunk touch of the Temiss fashion. Also his detached directness amused me a lot. I am excited to see his structured analytical mind clashing with the chaos of emotions. I imagine it turning out hilariously cute. I am looking forward to the fireworks :) The invitation szene that left Davis speechless is one of my favourites. I got a bit cross with Javion throughout the replays that he doesn't let me have my tour! Guess it's either love or hate with him :/ I really wanted that tour!
The scavanger hunt left me a bit disappointed. It was very easy (well, that is Beths fault! Since aimed at the general audience *pouts together with Javion*) and also the character dialouges were pityable short and plainly uneventfull.
I also like the classes and tests! Well, there is a mistake in Triskes lecture: The test contains the Question in wich Year the Van Daken family took control over the alliance. That information was no part of the lecture itself (yes, Dere was late, but she got a summaration of what she missed) it was only mentioned later in the discussion part of the class and the "right" answer of the test was beeing said by Triskel to be the current year and not the year of the first Van Daken King. Other than that i did not notice any other logical issues. There was only one scene during the festival I first thought it would be a mistake but now i rather think it was an intentional thing - when Thaddeus called Javion Mr Wears. After the tests i got errors when i made one mistake during the test on the first day and aced the other ones. During the Kissing booth event sprites started to pile up after i retrieved the candies (yay for multiple armed Dere :D) I think i got a few other error messages at some points, but i did not memorize when. Just clicked ignore and it didn't cause further issue. I cannot say much about typos and grammar errors. English is not my first language and i am definitely lacking myself in that area, but I think i was able to understand everything and did not find any dialouges that didn't make sense, other than story given confusion, what is a good thing. Dere does not know everything. It's part of the charme of the game.
All in all the demo really impressed me. So many different "stories" with the different choices one takes. I also like Dere very much. She is not beeing stupid and dumb, what i really appreciate. It's a lot of fun to explore the covenant together with her and learn more about the world of Avalon.
I am definitely looking forward to more.
Are there any suggestions as to the description of the characters or narrative that you feel could add to the game? As someone else said sometimes when Dere would talk it would say Narrator instead.
Are there any aspects that really interest you?
How expansive the plot is.
Are there any aspects that you feel detract from interest?
None that I can think of. Each playthrough gave something different.
What was your impression of the demo overall?
In -progress yet effective, something this size was presented well and made me excited for the rest.
Did this page present the demo well?
I think so.
Did you find any glitches or bugs that need to be addressed? There's definitely some I've come across in different playthroughs. I think there may have been one in the beginning when Dere sneaks into the class when late, for a moment Lana and the teacher's sprites overlapped but idk if thats on purpose or not. Same thing happened with Casidra and the teacher during the magic lesson when choosing to sit in the front. It actually happens a few times....
There was actually an error/exception when I finished the quiz on Aren that I, thankfully, could move past but when I was with Thaddeus during the dunking booth for the festival i couldn't move forward.
Was the writing acceptable? Were there any strange moments in flow or awkward dialogue?
Nothing major, though my first playthrough I was annoyed. After the 2nd time I understood that to proceed Dere had to survive the first meeting and generally come off as likeable to match the future dialogue, that I understand. It's just that the circumstance of getting the 1st bad end baffled me. After all the prep and determination to not have her signs of memory loss show she just casually lets it slip on accident?? Her future was on the line but one moment made her go, "Oh, who are you btw?". It would have been reasonable if the prince had noticed the lack of recognition instead in IMO. That's the only real gripe I had.
Were the transitions of expressions and rooms acceptable? Any strange moments?
I didn't notice anything like that, most of the time when the day was over Deere would just retire to her room so I got used to that being the usual winding down of events.
What was your favorite part of the demo?
Honestly, the little differences different options made. A certain event with "arranged marriage" popped up that I hadn't gotten in my other playthroughs and I was curious over what I had done to trigger it compared to my other runs. Moments like this increase playablilty for me
Would you desire or consider helping to fund a kick-starter in relation to this game?
Any other comments, questions, or feedback?
This reminds me so much of the Kingdoms game so I guess that's why I like it, but there are definite differences.
Are there any suggestions as to the description of the characters or narrative that you feel could add to the game? I know that when you pick a choice it does show in the writing even if after a while it might be mentioned as well, but I feel it would be nice to see some extra scenes with some choices. Like when I chose to tell Odyrn about Anton I thought he will mention it later but he didn't. And when I told Bethany, I thought he would get caught and be in trouble :p
Also when Dere asked Christen on a date .. (they said they will go horseriding).
Are there any aspects that really interest you? Yes, regaining her memories and finding romance. But until then, we don't know who to trust and there's a reputation to keep up.
Are there any aspects that you feel detract from interest? I wish there were more events than lessons... or more interactions. As for the schedule, it was all decided on the first day. I wasn't really sure what day was what. Maybe she could say before sleep or in the morning what she has scheduled for the day. Or another thing is, you could break it to three days, so Ordyn will schedule with Dere for each 3 days? Plz consider this suggestions.
What was your impression of the demo overall? I liked it. I am really wondering how events will turn out.
Did this page present the demo well? Yess.
Did you find any glitches or bugs that need to be addressed? On the first day after Lana turns green, and Dere returns to her room there's an error. And quickly after deciding what to do for the festival there's also an error.
Was the writing acceptable? Were there any strange moments in flow or awkward dialogue? There were typos. And I found it weird Javion knew Dere wanted to take tour of the place, and knew she had amnesia... After that she went to the class, I didn't understand what was happening, why she had to bring food. At the restaurant with Roison.. It was just Dere, her brother and Roison so who congratulated them? And why did Odyrn thank them for attending etc,,. And at the end of the festival, when they were selling lanterns, it said Thander left early, but then he was still there.
Were the transitions of expressions and rooms acceptable? Any strange moments? Nope. It was good. Btw, beautiful art.
What was your favorite part of the demo? The scheduling and the festival.
Would you desire or consider helping to fund a kick-starter in relation to this game? No.
Any other comments, questions, or feedback? Who are the 6 romancable charaters? :3
Are there any suggestions as to the description of the characters or narrative that you feel could add to the game? I do find it odd that occasionally the narration comes from Dere but sometimes it's just "narrator" but from Dere's perspective still? It's a bit confusing and a little distracting.
Are there any aspects that really interest you? The plot? I'm painfully curious and I have to know what happens.
Are there any aspects that you feel detract from interest? The occasionally slow pace but it was all usually pretty short lived and back to being interesting pretty quick.
What was your impression of the demo overall? It was good, interesting, pretty well written.
Did this page present the demo well? I do believe so, I'm going through all the options still and I try to stay away from demos of any kind, as I tend to get hooked and then I can't finish but I had to try it so I would say you did something right? =D
Did you find any glitches or bugs that need to be addressed? During the dunk tank part if you choose to help Christian, after he "fails to impress" Dere both of the two options break the sprite, one shows a blank Dere sprite and the other shows the Dere sprite hiding behind Christian.
Was the writing acceptable? Were there any strange moments in flow or awkward dialogue? A few minor things that did detract from the eloquence but nothing majorly distracting. A few typos.
Were the transitions of expressions and rooms acceptable? Any strange moments? Nothing that was unintentionally strange from what I could tell, I over analyze everything so I assume it all has purpose later on in the story. There were just parts that made me wonder what might be coming up.
What was your favorite part of the demo? Hmm I'm not sure, I liked when Lana turned green? I kinda wish she'd done it to herself on accident or something but it was still pretty funny.
Would you desire or consider helping to fund a kick-starter in relation to this game? Yes. =3
Any other comments, questions, or feedback? When? I probably won't get to keep my sanity if I don't know how it ends so please make this happen. xD